AC repair inPembroke, GA

Oh fiddlesticks.

Welcome to Week 10 of the Pembroke Mafia Football League and it’s hard to believe we’re this far into the season and nobody’s figured out what that funny smell is in PMFL headquarters.

Some have tried, of course, because, well, that’s what this column is about.

“Smells to me like a mad goat wearing a dirty tracksuit” said Alex Floyd, Richmond Hill’s highly underpaid special projects manager and a regular guy for someone whose family owns half of a third of North Bryan trees and most of its goats.

“Smaller um like ar swamper debbil n’ muddle ehrum skiddle goomer matin’ session,” said Bryan County Fire and Emergency Services Chief Freddy Howell, who comes from a swamp outside Waycross. “I rample a watergopher, mebber. Heer. Gmon.”

“Smells like Clemson. Seriously. You’d know that if you ever been to Clemson,” said yours truly, whose ancestral home is less than six miles from Death Valley Stadium, known in more polite society as Pickens County Correctional Work Farm.

“Smells like Tuscaloosa on a Saturday night after the wastewater treatment plant backs up from all them heathen Bammers flushing at the same time,” said our fearless leader, retired Chief Petty Admiral B.J. Clark. B.J. is an Auburn fan and knows of what he speaks.

“Smells like another Georgia Bulldog victory,” said County Administrator Ben Taylor, who at 3-foot-11 is probably the right height to get the best angle on the odor, which seems to emanate – or ooze, maybe – from behind the PMFL headquarters’ official magic yellow futon we got on sale from the Statesboro Walmarts in 1997 and have kept around in case anybody needs a place to sit down and take off his socks, if he’s wearing any.

“Smells like somebody I won’t name but it sort of resembles the smell of his wife’s cooking,” said County Commissioner Gene Wallace, DMD, before sticking his nose under his flowerdy shirt, taking a deep breath and muttering “help me.”

“Smells to me like stir fried eel,” said County Commissioner Noah Covington, who recently went on an all expenses paid industry recruiting trip to a place they stir fry up eels and serve them with squash and crispy rolls.

“Hey, it’s vegan,” Covington added, waggling his toothpick at the rest of us. “They stir fry it in an aluminum wok using recycled fruit bat drippings.”

We’ll do standings again next week. This week’s games: Florida State vs. Boston College: Sportswriting Legend Mike Brown, Noah and you’re truly take the Noles.

Michigan State vs. Ohio State: Alex, Pine Tree Baron Bob Floyd, former BCN Assistant Editor Ted O’Neil and your’s truly take the Spartans.

Wake Forest vs. Clemson: Noah, Richmond Hill City Clerk Dawnne Greene, County Commission Chairman Carter “Twice as right” Infinger and Dr. Wallace take the evil orange scum.

Florida vs. Missouri: Mike Brown, Alex, Dawnne, Carter and Noah take West Virginny.

UCLA vs. USC: Mike Brown, Alex, Carter, Ben and myself take the Bruins.

Appy vs. Troy: Freddy and Gene take Troy.

Air Force vs. Nevada: B.J. The Rev. Lawrence Butler, our current spiritual guru, Ben and Ted and me take Nevada.

Louisiana vs. Liberty: Noah, Ben, Ted, Gene, Dawnne and Freddy take Liberty.

Auburn vs. South Carolina; Alex, Dawnne, Noah and your’s truly take the Gamecocks, the greatest college football team ever to go 565-544-55 with two conference titles over a 119-year span.

It’s on at 7 p.m. on ESPN, should you care to watch as the real USC clinches a bowl berth and makes the universe glad.

Next week: We compare college fight songs while setting fire to and roasting marshmallows over the magic yellow futon.

Welcome to week whatever it is of the Pembroke Mafia Football League, and please note questions abound.

Such as: will the Braves win the World Series? Will Georgia win its first national championship since 1980? Will South Carolina ever win again?

Inquiring minds want to know this sort of stuff, just as they really want to know whether PMFL members Noah Covington, Dr. Gene Wallace and Carter Infinger, all three being important county commissioners (just ask them), really do wear Bermuda shorts at meetings while conducting county business? That has been rumored on the usual idiotic social media sites by busybodies with nothing better to do than worry about what other people wear or think or say while they’re conducting government business. Anyway, the answer to that one is nope, no Bermuda shorts. Instead, said commissioners are wearing Speedos – apparently known in Great Britain as budgie- smugglers.

Note to self: I will have to ask the English Rose in Georgia about that one.

Naturally, these Speedos, or budgie-smugglers, have the official Bryan County Seal on them – along with some pretty nifty racing stripes, I’m told.

Well, I’m told Noah’s has pictures of cheeseburgers on his and Carter’s has unicorns and pictures of himself back when he took over the county during Hurricane Matthew, but it’s all in good taste and upscale, just like Bryan County. As for why they wear them, well, it’s important to be calm, cool and collected when you’re up there calling the shots and sitting on the thrones of power, as these commissioners like to call the seats they sit atop while listening to developers promise them this time they’ll really only put 4,000 houses on that 400-acre tract where the deer and antelope and armadillos used to play and seldom was heard a discouraging word. Those were the days.

Anywho, one more thing: I have it on good authority Richmond Hill is determined to win the bidding war for the ex-wizard of Christchurch. That authority might’ve been loaded up on Ripple when he made the announcement via text, but what the heck. In vino veritas, they say.

Standings so far: The Rev. Lawrence Butler now leads the Pembroke Mafia Football League season standings with a mere 25 misses total.

In second is former Bryan County News Assistant Editor Ted O’Neil, with 26 misses. Richmond Hill City Clerk Dawnne Greene is third with 29 misfires.

In fourth are Bryan County Administrator Ben Taylor, the tallest human dwarf on record, and Mike Clark, the PMFL Minister of Procurement of Tractor Parts.

In fifth is B.J. Clark, retired Navy Admiral Petty Officer and big cheese in Pembroke American Legion Post 164, and he’s followed in sixth by yours truly, also a Post 164 member even if yours truly never makes meetings.

Bob Floyd is in seventh with 34 misses. That number is exactly 2.3 billion less than the number of pine cones the man has title too, because he probably owns every other pine tree in North Bryan. I like to remind people of that.

Bryan County Emergency Services Chief Freddy “Freeman” Howell, one of my favorite people, is in eighth. Howell is from Waycross and is thereby a friend and brother to all swamp people.

Noah, also known as King of the North, is in ninth place, where he’s tied with Carter, also known as “The Chairman of the Board.” Mike Brown, the dean of area sportswriters and a retired Marine officer or something like that, is in 10th. He says it’s easier to do the Statesboro Herald contest and he’s already won $50 picking games there. That means its his turn to buy us all hot wings and cole slaw and cold beverages.

In last place are our resident dentist, the one and only Lima Bean, and Richmond Hill Special Projects Manager Alex Floyd, neither of whom knows what a football is.

As for our team standings, which mystify me, North Bryan leads South Bryan 232-238.

This week’s games are on the books. B.J. will be sharing a group email with who picked what. I’m out of ink and tired of typing.

Your friend, Jeff W.

PS. I just got an email asking what our Speedo- wearing commissioners do for meeting wear in winter, since Speedos tend to leave one a bit exposed to the elements.

That’s an easy answer, I answered. They wear their official Bryan County LulaRoes.

Editor's note: Updated to include rendering of new Richmond Hill High School, press release from Bryan County Schools included below story.

The Bryan County Board of Education voted unanimously Thursday night to begin work on phase I of the new Richmond Hill High School for a “guaranteed maximum price,” of slightly more than $97.89 million. That’s believed to be the most ever spent on a single taxpayer-funded undertaking by a local government in county history.

Statesboro-based Pope Construction is building the new high school, which was designed by the Savannah architectural firm of James W. Buckley and Associates and is slated to be finished by the beginning of the 2024-2025 school year.

To pay for the new high school and fund other capitol projects, voters approved a $100 million bond referendum in 2017 when it renewed ESPLOST. The new RHHS is projected to hold up to 3,700 students, and will sit on some 220 acres near the new Belfast Keller interchange.

The 2020 census showed Bryan County was the fastest growing county in Georgia and the sixth fastest in the U.S., and a good portion of that growth is attributed to the school system’s reputation for strong academics. The county’s population growth, from about 30,000 in 2010 to more than 44,000 in 2020, is reflected in the number of the schools going up.

Since 2012, Bryan County Schools has opened four new campuses – three of them within about a six mile radius in South Bryan and one in Pembroke. Construction of the four schools combined cost about $82 million.

2012: Richmond Hill Middle School opened at an approximate cost to build of $17 million

2015: McAllister Elementary and Bryan County Elementary opened. Combined approximate cost: $40 million.

2020: Frances Meeks Elementary opened. Approximate cost: $25 million.

Below is a copy and paste of the Bryan County Schools release to area media on Thursday night.

(Black Creek, GA) – At its November 18th board meeting, the Bryan County Board of Education approved the Guaranteed Maximum Price for the construction of Phase 1 of the new Richmond Hill High School. Board Chair Amy Murphy expressed, “The Bryan County Board of Education is pleased to approve the funding of Phase I of Richmond Hill High School. We are proud to support a replacement high school that will nurture and support the academic achievement of our students for decades into the future. Additionally, we are pleased the new school will contain a multitude of fine arts, career and technology opportunities, and extra-curricular facilities that support the development of the whole student. With the land donation and value engineering, we believe the new Richmond Hill High School will be a center of community pride and will continue to foster the tradition of educational excellence for our students”. The initial phase incudes construction of the 543,818 square foot state of the art 9-12 school that will be located off Belfast Keller Road.

Principal Bivins Miller affirmed, “This approval highlights the support of our Board of Education and stakeholders in Bryan County to provide our students with the very best resources while maintaining a vision that is Committed to Excellence and Success in ALL we do! To say that we are all excited is an understatement. Opening day will be a day to remember for ALL!”

The new Richmond Hill High School, designed by the architectural firm of James W. Buckley & Associates, is being built to replace the current Richmond Hill High School. The existing high school, with certain portions of the building dating back to 1981, houses 2,450 students. As the fastest growing county in the State of Georgia and the sixth fastest in the nation, this new facility will assist in alleviating current and future needs. The Guaranteed Maximum Price of $97,891,846 was awarded to Pope Construction Company and will be paid out of bond construction funds previously approved by the citizens of Bryan County; as well as, state capital outlay dollars.

“Considering COVID, cost escalation, supply chain issues, etc., it has been quite the journey to arrive at this point. I am extremely proud of the Board of Education, staff, architect, and construction manager who have never wavered and continue to work tirelessly to meet the needs of this amazing high-growth school system. This is just one piece of an extensive long-range capital projects plan for Bryan County Schools that extends through 2032.”, stated Dr. Paul Brooksher, Superintendent.

The school is expected to open in August 2024.

Pembroke Middle School’s Riley Deese (8) and Jayla Graham (4) both go for the ball during Thursday’s county championship game against Littlefield in Lumberton.

Members of the Pembroke Middle School volleyball team celebrate after winning the county championship Thursday at Littlefield Middle School in Lumberton.

LUMBERTON — The Littlefield Middle School volleyball team hadn’t lost a game all season and looked to be on its way to the county championship when it took a one-set lead over Pembroke Wednesday.

But Pembroke caught fire at the right time, dominating the last two sets to earn a 3-2 win and claim the county title.

Littlefield (11-1) led 2-1 after winning the second and third sets. Pembroke (10-2) then took over from the start of the fourth set, leading 13-4 en route to a 25-13 set win.

“They started listening; where they should’ve been listening to begin with,” Pembroke coach Trina Bullard said. “I’m proud of them.”

In the fifth set, neither team led by more than a point early in the set and Pembroke led 7-6. The Warriors then scored eight straight points on the serve of Riley Deese to close out the match with a 15-6 set win, earning the final point on a service ace by Deese that landed just inside the back-right corner of the court.

“I was trying not to hit my serves out,” Deese said. “I thought it was out at the end, so I kind of got scared, but then they started shouting.”

Pembroke won the first set 25-21, ending on a 6-0 run that foreshadowed the end-match sequence. The Hornets won the second set 25-20 and the third 25-17 to take their 2-1 lead.

“Our regular season, I couldn’t have asked for much more,” Littlefield coach Victoria Sealy said. “We played as a team, we were using three hits as much as we could. They beat us when it counted. We didn’t play our best game, and that’s how it happens sometimes. I’m so proud of my girls. My eighth-graders rocked it out this year.”

Members of the victorious Pembroke team include starters Deese, Jayla Graham, Nyiah Johnson, Calista Lewis, Eva Oxendine and Kabrina Oxendine and reserves Lincoln Allen, Madalyn Chavis, Nekema Hunt, Alonna Locklear, Lana Lowry, Genesis Morales, Hailey Olguin, Sonata Oxendine, Xena Oxendine, Reanna Rogers and Madison Strickland and managers Ellarey Barton and Aiyana McMillan.

“They’ve done a good job,” Bullard said. “Considering the pandemic, we’ve been out, I had nobody returning. I just had some athletes.”

Littlefield team members include starters Marcionna Dockery, Jaelyn Hammond, Ava Hana, Perla Hernandez, Jayla Hunt and Keelee Pittman and reserves KaMya Foxworth, Helena Fuller, Elajiah Locklear, Kinsley Martin, Eden Richardson and September Warring.

St. Pauls, Fairmont-Orrum advance to football championship

The football teams from St. Pauls and Fairmont-Orrum middle schools will play for the county championship next week.

St. Pauls advanced after defeating South Robeson 28-14 in Wednesday’s semifinal game.

Fairmont-Orrum won the other semifinal 24-8 over Red Springs.

The championship game will be held next Wednesday at 6 p.m. Both teams were No. 1 seeds from their conference; the game will be at G.S. Kinlaw Stadium at St. Pauls High School after St. Pauls won a coin toss to host.

Chris Stiles can be reached at 910-816-1977 or by email at cstiles@robesonian.com. You can follow him on Twitter at @StilesOnSports.

PEMBROKE — Redshirt junior Shannon Skryd and freshman Katelyn West each posted double-digit kill totals, and the UNC Pembroke volleyball team hit .336 at the net on the way to a 3-0 sweep (25-14, 25-14, 25-13) of visiting Erskine on Tuesday evening in the quarterfinal round of the Conference Carolinas Tournament.

It was the 12th and final home victory for the Braves (23-10) whose win total at Lumbee Guaranty Bank Court this season is the most for the program in more than three decades. The setback snapped a two-match win streak for the Flying Fleet (13-21) who upended West No. 3 seed King on Saturday to advance to Tuesday’s quarterfinals.

The Braves dropped the first two points of the opening set, but strung together six-straight points after that to set the tone. Erskine rallied for three-straight points to even the game up at eight points apiece a short time later, but the Braves responded with a 5-1 run to take the lead for good, and eventually scored the last seven points of the stanza to put it away at 25-14.

The squads split the first 12 points of the second set, but the Braves caught fire and tacked up nine of the next 10 points to take a lead they would not relinquish. The Flying Fleet pulled to within four points, 16-12, on a kill from Laney Gaston, but the hosts raked in nine of the set’s final 11 points to close it out at 25-14.

UNCP posted 18 kills and hit .415 at the net in a dominant third set that wrapped the night in Black & Gold. Erskine hung around for a majority of the set’s first 11 points, but a kill from Brianna Warren signaled a 11-1 run for the Braves that all but put the cap on the win, clinching the match 25-13.

Skryd had 13 kills and West had 11; Katie Pressley had 37 assists for UNCP. Elise Martin had 16 digs and Skryd had 15.

The Braves have now won three-straight matches in the series with Erskine, including a 3-1 victory earlier this season in Due West, S.C. Tuesday’s matchup marked just the second time in the 9-match-old series (2011) that the two have battled each other in Pembroke.

The Braves will head to Bristol, Tenn., on Saturday to take on West No. 1 seed North Greenville (20-8) in the semifinal round of the Conference Carolinas Tournament. First service for that second semifinal is scheduled for 7:30 p.m. inside King University’s Student Center Complex.